Resigned

As in I have officially resigned from my preschool board position, effective immediately. (Well, where "immediately" means almost two weeks ago.) And Rachel will be done at the end of May.

It was a very hard decision to make. I struggled with it all year, as you may have guessed. The stress around this incredibly unusual year at the school was extremely intense and I had to finally decide to let it go.

I hate the fact that I didn't fulfill my commitment (which was supposed to go until the end of June) although I did fill all the commitments of my particular position, if that makes any sense.

About an hour after I sent my resignation letter, I finally had a chance to read this blog post from Beth Moore which had been sitting open in my browser all week. And I realized that my opportunities at the preschool are dead, and have been for awhile. It was time to let go of that era of our lives and focus on the new things which are growing. I feel like I've cleared the dead wood away and now new things can grow. However, I need to sit dormant for awhile before I have the energy to allow new growth. I'm both excited and nervous about where this new stage will take me.

I have felt so much freer these past few weeks. There has still be stress around the preschool but I am no longer responsible for it. My e-mail inbox has been blessedly quiet and I am just so peaceful. I feel like I am being a better parent and a better spouse because I can focus on my family again.

But for now, I am resigned to the fact that an era, which started almost exactly three years ago with our first visit to the preschool in May 2012, is almost over. It ended differently than I had hoped, but ended it has.