The Third Edition Of "The KC Post"

April 13, 2020
FC Rachelona VS Samchester United 
by Rachel 

On Sunday, Samchester United faced FC Rachelona. It was game 5 of 5 games; this game was to see who won the prize from the other person and got the medal that said Champion of Trampoline Soccer in the KC family.
The game began. Rachelona had the ball and Rachel shot and GOAL Rachel scored. The score was now 1-0 Rachelona. First after the GOAL Samchester United had the ball. Sam got the ball from Sam; Sam scored and missed. Game sped up: Now the score was 9-9 when Sam got the ball again. This time he scored and GOAL, SAMCHESTER UNITED just WON the game!!!!!!!!!!

April 14, 2020
BOX CITY HERE WE COME!
by Rachel
 
On Tuesday April 14th, Rachel and Sam started a box city. They were having a lot of fun. Over the next couple of days they worked on it frequently. They will do little bits at a time but they have been making progress. Today they have almost finished box city. It will stay in the basement and will bring joy to Rachel and Sam.

Box City includes from left to right: Bob's Books, Mark's Market, an apartment building, The Yellow Monument, Jackie Robinson's house, and a bank.

Dave Goes to Stays at Home to Watch Movies

By Dave

Local movie critic Dave recently immersed himself in a range of movies from the past few decades (thanks to friends who shared their streaming account). Instead of the typical “stars” or “thumbs up” that other movie critics might rely on, Dave has developed a unique evaluation based on the combination of the movie’s overall quality and his (admittedly limited) attention span: the length of each review, and the highly scientific rating system, is determined by how long he spent watching the movie before he got bored.

Mr. Baseball – Tom Selleck (1992)
The humour of a crass, arrogant American going to Japan to play baseball didn’t age well.
Rating: Two yawns

There’s Something About Mary – Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz (1998)
Although the characters are one-dimensional, and the humour is pretty crude, there is something irresistibly funny about the over-the-top lengths that the various love-stricken side characters will go to win Mary’s affection. The 90’s music soundtrack was a definite plus, as well.
Rating: Five mindlessly eaten handfuls of chips

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid – Paul Newman, Robert Redford (1969)
This was certainly not Dave’s first attempt at watching this movie, nor will it be his last. For a movie about two gun-toting, quick-talking outlaws, there were a surprising number of long scenery shots, and repetitive “pursuit” scenes.
Rating: Three squished couch pillows

The Fast and the Furious – Vin Diesel, Paul Walker (2001)
It turned out that Dave’s interest in nuts-and-bolts automotive details was not nearly sufficient to maintain much interest in the movie’s main characters (that is to say, the cars). That having been said, some of the chase scenes were pretty well done, and Dave found himself caring more about the (human) characters’ fates than he expected.
Rating: Two comfy sweaters

The Right Stuff – Sam Shepard, Ed Harris (1983)
Two key lessons learned: the press was intense in the 1960’s, and the early spacesuits were not designed for bathroom breaks.
Rating: 1.5 hours past a reasonable bedtime

Boo Covid-19
a haiku by Sam

Coronavirus
I do not like it at all
It is really bad

All The Time In The World, Yet Laundry Still Takes Days
by Natasha

Even though she is doing nothing but spending time at home, KCUT citizen, Natasha, is still managing to hold onto to her title of Queen Laundry Procrastinator.
"I just don't know where the time goes," Natasha admitted. "I mean, there's literally nothing else to do and yet my last load of laundry sat in the washer for two days."
Natasha re-washed the load this morning, yet as of the writing of this article, she still hadn't hung it up. "I'm off to do that right now," she said as she sat down with a mug of tea and a thick book.
This reporter wonders if the load of laundry, once dried, will be folded before this pandemic ends. Stay tuned folks...

April 15, 2020
Jackie Robinson Day 
by Rachel 

Today is Jackie Robinson day, if you do not know.
Jackie Robinson’s childhood: Jackie Robinson was born January 31, 1919 in the town of Cairo, Georgia, back then it was tough if you were black and living in the Deep South. He was the youngest of five children. His family eventually moved to California. His mom worked hard and his sister had to take care of him, even though she was in school. He liked to play sports as a kid – basketball, baseball, and football.
Jackie as a young grown-up: He was in the army; then he went to the Negro Leagues and played for the Kansas City Monarchs. The manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers asked if he would play on the team in the Major Leagues, even if it would be hard to be the only black player. Jackie said, “Yes.”
Jackie as a grown-up: Jackie married Rachel Robinson on February 10, 1946, and they had three kids: Jackie Jr., Sharon, and David. Jackie Jr. was born on November 18, 1946. Jackie started his first game for the Dodgers on April 15, 1947, becoming the first black person to play in the Major Leagues. His first year went well, and he won the Rookie of the Year award. He also won the MVP award in 1949, and in 1955 Jackie and the Dodgers won the World Series. His number (#42) was retired after he finished playing, and Jackie was voted into the Hall of Fame in 1962. Jackie died in 1972, when he was 53 years old.
If you want to learn more about Jackie Robinson click the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackie_Robinson

Coding
by Sam

Today Sam did coding on https://hourofcode.com/ca/learn. He did Minecraft designer (https://studio.code.org/s/minecraft/stage/1/puzzle/1). He beat all the levels, from 1-11. The only level he didn’t beat was level 12 (https://studio.code.org/s/minecraft/stage/1/puzzle/12), but that level is where you make you own game and it cannot be beat.
Sam made five zombies and two creepers spawn each night, and 3 sheep, 2 cows and 2 chickens spawn each day. Creepers exploded if touched, and both creepers and zombies would chase the player. Two iron golems would spawn every time the game started, and would chase zombies.

Fashion World Stunned

by Dave

The usually sedate world of business casual fashion was upended on Tuesday, when local style icon Dave introduced a ground-breaking new look. Tossing aside typical conventions of solid/patterned pairing and distinctions between sleepwear and work-appropriate attire, Dave set forth for the day in a combination of slippers, plaid pyjama pants, and a patterned button-down dress shirt.

The reaction of the fashion critics was swift. Fashion critic Sam was able to respond only with disbelief: “What are you wearing?” Established fashion guru Natasha was initially critical of the clashing plaid patterns, but the boldness of the fashion choice eventually won her over: “Stunned!” she was overheard saying. “The only word that comes to mind is stunned!”

Later in the week, Dave followed up this revolution in fashion with a still more daring combination of jogging shorts and a black sweater. What’s next for this emerging fashion trend-setter – bathing suit and tweed jacket? Pyjama pants, cummerbund, and a tank top? Only time will tell.

Family Yoga Time Turns Into Comedy Hour
by Natasha

Today the KCUT royal family participated in a yoga program offered by a citywide corporation.
While they attempted to turn their living room into a serene yoga studio, the lack of yoga mats and grace meant that opportunities to achieve serenity and calm were limited.
Instead there was much thunking as balance was lost and much laughter as stretches and poses were attempted.
To sum up, participant Natasha commented, "It was about as calm as doing yoga with a herd of wrestling elephants." Namaste.

April 16, 2020
Sam paints a picture!!!!
by Sam

Today Sam painted a picture. It was in the style of Claude Monet (impressionist painter). He painted a bridge, with a background of red, yellow, blue and green dots. He titled it “the bridge”. When asked what he would do with it, he said he was considering giving it away as a present… to The Louvre in Paris.

Animals Acrostic Poem

by Rachel

All animals are cute
Newborn animals are here;
I really like newborn bunnies
Magnificent animals are back!!
Awakening bears are hungry
Let's eat
Springtime is here!!!

April 17, 2020
Sam Brought Back From Near Death

by Sam

Today Sam was afflicted with a mysterious illness. No one had any idea what it was except the famous Doctor Dave. He thought that it may have been a headache. When asked by KC post reporter Sam, he said “It was very difficult to figure out, but what the patient said about his head hurting gave me a small clue. From there, it was a matter of hours before I was able to get a diagnosis”.
He was near death when another famous doctor, Natasha, was able to devise a cure. She quickly rushed to the grocery store and bought some potato chips. She made it back to Sam just in time, and he ate the life-saving medicine, healing him. He is now absolutely fine, and was heard saying, “I am so glad that Dr. Natasha found the cure.” Dr. Natasha was awarded a KCUT medicinal medal.

Shortages Of Dried Lentils And Paint Affect City
by Natasha

KCUT citizen, Natasha, attempted to cross off all the items on her grocery list today. "These are trying times," Natasha said, "and a successful grocery trip is no longer the norm now."
While she was able to procure thirty rolls of toilet paper and a bottle of hand soap, some aisles had empty shelves instead.
"I was looking for dried green lentils," Natasha commented. "Is everyone suddenly consuming large amounts of lentils?" It seems the answer to that is a resounding YES as Natasha was not able to find any.
It also appears that suppliers were unprepared for the amount of paint citizens suddenly faced with the prospect of homeschooling, would need.
"The Prince and Princess have gone through gallons of paint these past few weeks," Natasha explained. "Sadly, I was unsuccessful in my attempt to get more."
This reporter assumes the Prince and Princess will need to find alternate ways to amuse themselves and hopes they don't turn to the gallons of housepaint available in the royal storehouse.

 Update: Paint has been acquired.

However, still no lentils :(

CODING!!!!!!
By Rachel 

Today Rachel did hour of coding with her brother (if you want to code click the link: https://hourofcode.com/ca/learn.)There are many different choices you can choose from including Minecraft, sports, dance party, Frozen and more. You can also make your own world. When you’ve completed all the levels you will learn how to make different objects do different things and sometimes you can even choose your character. For Rachel she finds it really fun!!

Mysterious Invading Army Attacks KCUT
by Dave

Top military generals were surprised by an unexpected invasion of foreign forces infiltrating KCUT's borders.
While preliminary scouts had been spotted earlier in the year, the past few weeks have seen a marked increase in both the frequency and boldness of the invading army's maneuvers. Although no foreign power has claimed responsibility for the attacks, all signs point to the Affiliated Nearby Transitional Syndicate (ANTS) as the most likely party.
Military strategists have been grudgingly impressed by the mobility, stealth, and resilience of the ANTS forces. "It's like they appear out of nowhere!" exclaimed Brigadier-General Natasha. "They are attacking our nation's food supply, conducting reconnaissance missions to scout out key infrastructure, and generally imposing their will on a terrified KCUT population."
"Although our military forces are far superior in terms of physical size and firepower," explained Lieutenant-Colonel Dave, "the ANTS forces are incredibly resistant to all but the most determined attacks. Their forces are also far more numerous, and possess a degree of maneuverability and stealth that far outclasses our relatively clumsy, awkward soldiers."
To date, the ANTS have limited their incursions to the upper reaches of KCUT territory (commonly referred to as the "top floor"), but KCUT residents fear it is only a matter of time before they make their way to the fertile "breadbasket" region and operational command centre located in the KCUT heartland. Here at The KC Post, we are committed to keep you informed as this national security crisis unfolds.