I haven't blogged for awhile because I just don't know what to say. This is a hard time right now for me, for my kids, for my country, for our world. I know that everyone is going through the same thing right now and that gives me some comfort, but honestly, I'm really struggling. (In case you haven't figured it out yet, this is not going to be a cheery, inspiring blog post, so feel free to skip it.)
I am a planner. I don't like change and I especially don't like unexpected and disheartening change. And these past few weeks have held a lot of that kind of change -- I no longer have a job (schools are closed) or a pay cheque (I'm a temporary employee), the kids no longer get to interact with their friends (except through some sort of online format), our playgrounds are closed and our libraries are closed.
We were looking forward to going to California in May to celebrate Dave's cousin's wedding. The wedding has been postponed and our trip has been cancelled. (And we're hoping and praying we get the money back for the flights -- we have cancellation insurance but it may not cover this.)
Sam playing snow baseball.
Sam's birthday is next week and he's already announced he doesn't want to celebrate it at all. He wants to move it to May 30 and I'm just hoping and praying life is more "back to normal" by then. Passover and Easter are coming up and likely we will have to figure out alternative celebrations for those holidays as well -- no gatherings with friends and family.
The snowman I made and decorated with old tulips!
There was a readathon this past weekend and sadly, I couldn't even concentrate enough to fully participate in that. I have a whole stack of books to read and I find myself turning to light, predictable fluff. Yes, even reading has deserted me.
Sam was supposed to spend a month away from home this summer participating in an amazing international program, bringing together 11 year olds from around the world. We just found out last night that it has been cancelled too. We aren't surprised but Sam is understandably disappointed.
Rachel finishing off her snowman.
Rachel has been practicing all year for an intensive dance exam and yes, that has been postponed indefinitely, and perhaps cancelled as well. We're all struggling with disappointment.
Rachel's snowman collapsed just as she was adding the finishing touches :(
Please hear me -- I am fully supportive of the measures which are being taken. I think staying home and cancelling everything really is the best option we have given what we know. However, that is not to say that any of this is easy or fun.
Nothing lasts forever. My snowman fell over about an hour later.
I don't really have a point to this post. I just needed to get these feelings out there. I know we're all struggling with similar disappointments, challenges, and emotions. I wanted to share some of mine.
If you made it this far, come back tomorrow. I will be linking up with What's Up Wednesday which will give you a little bit of a cheerier (I hope) insight into our lives these past few weeks.
If you made it this far, come back tomorrow. I will be linking up with What's Up Wednesday which will give you a little bit of a cheerier (I hope) insight into our lives these past few weeks.
We all feel the same way. I totally understand and support all of these measures, but that doesn't make it enjoyable. All your feelings are valid, and I am sending you a big virtual hug! And I too have been reading all light, predictable fluff! XO
ReplyDeleteI know this is hard.
ReplyDeletePraying things get easier soon. :)
BIG HUG. I totally understand. I understand and support all the stay at home measures and cancellations but if still SUCKS. It is frustrating and stressful and everything. My heart breaks for the kids (mine, yours) whose life events are put on hold for something like this. It stings more as a parent. I know kids are resilient but it still hurts so much to see them disappointed when it’s not their fault and nothing you can do. BIG HUGS
ReplyDeleteFrom Auntie Jean,
ReplyDeleteNatasha, you expressed what so many of us are feeling. No need to be upbeat all the time - these are (hopefully) exceptional times. We, too, are working remotely and that is not my strength having worked diligently to keep home and work separate (except the tape that keeps playing after 5 PM or when I'm having insomnia. My life lessons frequently don't come in the format I would request - nonetheless, here we are. Stay healthy. Hugs for all, Jean
I feel you. This is so hard. I'm supposed to be on a trip this week and instead I'm working the frontline in healthcare. And then I go home to... no one. Everyday. I can't see my family on weekends because although they are all able to stay home and self isolate I'm the risk and don't want to put them at risk in case I've picked it up at work. I don't know how long it will be until I can see any family, and at this point I may even be spending easter alone :(
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what parents are going through trying to protect their kids hearts and sanity in all of this. I'm with you - I get it, but it SUCKS!
I think we're all struggling, don't feel badly for it!
ReplyDelete