Here's the biggest thing on my holiday wish list this year -- to enjoy the holidays. Let me explain.
We usually spend the holidays with my parents, either we go to Saskatchewan or they come here. I have spent maybe four or five Christmases in my entire life without my parents (and I'm 46 -- I've had a lot of Christmases!).
Celebrating with Mom and Dad one of the years they came here.
However, this year, they headed to a warmer climate over the holidays so we won't see them. I am trying to be a mature adult about it (which sucks and is really hard - ha), and Dave and I spent a lot of time thinking about how we should spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, specifically, as those will be the toughest 24 hours for me. It just feels like everyone is with family during that time -- especially at our church's Christmas Eve service. (And lest you have forgotten/don't know, Dave's family is Jewish so spending the holidays with them isn't an option.)
The year we were traveling over Christmas so we did
a new tradition of a book tree rather than a real Christmas tree.
It was awesome!
So we are adding in some new traditions (the Icelandic tradition of
Jólabókaflóð for one, which the kids are calling a "Christmas-athon"!) and homemade pizza on Christmas Day. We are going to do some traditional things too like the Christmas Eve service at church (which I hope won't make me too sad) and presents, obviously.
I realize in my head that I'm being a lot selfish. My parents are still alive* and making this totally reasonable choice for one Christmas (that I know of). I have Dave and the kids to celebrate with. We have so much to be thankful for.
*I have friends who have lost parents recently so I don't take for granted that mine are still around.
My heart is just finding a bit harder.
So that's what's on my holiday wish list -- to enjoy (and maybe, even love) this opportunity to make room for new traditions and experiences. And maybe to gain a bit of maturity through it too :)
Once again I've linked up with Kimberly, Andi, Tamara, and Tanya for #AMonthofFaves.
That definitely is hard!!! I'm so sorry your Christmas looks different this year, but I hope it ends up surprising you with its unique beauty!!
ReplyDeleteBrian and I rotate which family we spend Thanksgiving/Christmas with and I still feel a little sad any time I'm not with my family, so I totally get it! Here's to hoping your parent-less Christmas will pleasantly surprise you :)
ReplyDeleteWow, I really needed to read this post today. We have a lot of holiday drama going on with my sister and her boyfriend and for days I've been super grumpy/bitter about the whole thing, but reading your post reminds me that I still have a lot of happy things to focus on (my parents will still be here) and how I need to be a mature adult (which DOES SUCK and IS REALLY HARD - you nailed that). So thank you for writing this and for being honest about this. It's helping me rethink my whole Christmas attitude.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to missing your parents at Christmas - I don't always get to have mine spend it with us and I've been spoiled. I do love Christmas season though, so I just go about killing it with Christmas music, foods and all the fun things I can think of.
ReplyDeleteThat's what we're going to try and do -- make our own brand of Christmas fun and see how it goes!
DeleteIt is so hard to be away from family at Christmas! I hope God surprises you with joy, and your heart is full this year.
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are totally valid! My Christmas' were the exact same for the first 26 years of my life. Now that some grandparents have passed things have changed. Now we alternate with my immediate family celebrating on xmas eve or xmas day, to accommodate their inlaws. This year is xmas eve. Which leaves me with nothing to do on christmas day. And I'm not looking forward to it at all!
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you. It's hard when traditions change due to death or adding in laws to the mix. I hope you find moments of fun and joy in your Christmas Day this year.
DeleteAlso Dave and I joke that when our expectations are really low (like they are for Christmas this year), then it's not hard to surpass them :)
I can totally understand your struggle. It sounds like you're in a good being reasonable and handling it place. You're pretty awesome, you know?
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY understand your struggle. In the past few years, Christmas has been topsy-turvy at my house- my brother got married and had girls and his wife has parents who divorced and re-married and my holidays used to be simple, but now it's complicated because everyone wants to see the girls. You are handling this like a pro and I hope that the new traditions make the day better!
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