Thursday, April 24, 2014

Jet Lag Makes Me Stupid

So we've been back from New Zealand for seven days now. You think my body would have adjusted to this time zone but ohhhh-nooo, we can't have that now, can we??? Jet lag is not only causing me to experience extreme exhaustion but I also have memory loss, lack of filters, and difficulty completing simple tasks. For your enlightenment, and possible amusement, here are some examples of all three.

On Tuesday morning I woke up and my whole body was sore. As in, it hurt to close the lid on my contact solution, to cough, and generally to do anything but lie in bed. I attributed it to the first bike ride of the spring which I had done the day before. Although I couldn't for the life of me figure out why my arms hurt so much. At about 6pm I had my "Ah ha!!!" moment.

You see, on Monday I was outside with the kids and I noticed a branch hanging down from our big tree. I didn't want it to fall on the kids, I couldn't reach it, and I couldn't move the ladder to reach it by myself. So my solution was to throw Sam's soccer ball, and eventually his bat, at the branch hoping to hit it and knock it down. I managed to a) dislodge it a bit more and b) to get Sam's soccer ball stuck in the tree.

So imagine the muscles you would use to throw a soccer ball (or bat) up in the air about twenty feet. Yep, a full body squat, an extension of the arms, and the use of stomach muscles to help propel the ball up over and over and over again for about half an hour would explain all the soreness I dealt with on Tuesday. And yesterday. And probably today too. sigh.

Yesterday I baked muffins with Rachel. Janice came over in the afternoon and I wanted to send some home for her family. I wanted to send them two each but then that only left us with five which didn't feel like quite enough. I was deliberating and deliberating and explained my dilemma to Janice in hopes that she could help me out. She kindly pointed out that 4 people in her family times two cupcakes each only equaled eight and not sixteen which left more than enough for our family. Yep, my ability to do simple math has gone out the window too. sigh.

Last night Rachel said, "I don't have a peanut." Dave said, "Right you don't have a [male body part which sounds similar*]." Sam said, "Girls just have a litter." We corrected him with the proper term and he said, "That's not what I meant." So my lack of filter caused me to ask if he meant another female part, which sounds close to "litter." Obviously I had no clue that a five year old would a) likely not have heard that term before, b) did not need to be introduced to that term and c) would love the sound of it, using it for everything in sight for the next ten minutes. Dave blamed me for introducing the term, and I blamed him for misunderstanding Rachel which caused the whole downward spiral in the first place. sigh.

Also, I've been wearing the same pair of socks for forty-eight hours straight. Yep, I'm blaming jet lag for that one too...

As you can tell, jet lag also causes a lack of blogging material. Hopefully this too shall pass and I will be back to normal as soon as possible. I sure hope so because otherwise things are really going to start going to pieces around here!

*Note to readers: At our house we use proper body terms when talking to our kids but I decided not to use them on the blog because I don't want our blog showing up on any weird searches :)


  1. Ha! Love the body part convo :)

  2. OMG!!!! Dying at the body part discussion. I really hope Sam brings up those terms at school!!! HAAAAA!!!

  3. Hahaha! I'm giggling in my bed thinking of him walking around your house saying the body part that sounds like "litter" ;)

    1. I'm really glad I could provide you with some amusement! It was a very entertaining ten minutes. Thankfully we haven't heard him use the word since. Hopefully his teachers haven't heard it either :)


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