The Eighth Edition of The KC Post

May 19, 2020

Sam Stumps Vs. Rachel Swings
by Sam

Today in football, the Sam Stumps played the Rachel Swings. They played in the Swings field, Swinging Park. The final score was 42-14 Swings. It started off with the Stumps kicking off. The Swings immediately got a touchdown. They got two more in quick succession. Then the Stumps got one, and the Swings got another. The Stumps then pushed up the field, until they got to the Rachel Swings 5-yard line. They then deked out the Swings' defenders with a sneak pass to get a touchdown, and make the score 28-14. Sadly, it was the last touchdown they would get, as the Swings got two more touchdowns, and won the game 42-14.

I Went To Japan (on Zoom with Grandma)
by Rachel
 
Today, Sam and I went on a Zoom meeting with Grandma and learned about Japan. First, Sam and I got two pencils, a pair of chopsticks, and two boxes each, and we had a cookie for a snack. Then we got on the Zoom meeting and started learning. Next, we learned and learned and learned about Japan, like what a sumo wrestler’s day is like, and how to play Japanese drums. After that, we learned how to make sushi, and other Japanese food. We also watched a video showing what Japanese people would eat in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Finally, we got a chance to show Grandma some funny cat videoooos.

May 20, 2020
Haikus About Asparagus

by Natasha

Asparagus pee
It smells really disgusting
The veggie tastes good!

by Rachel

My bright green veggie
Asparagus is yummy
My pee, my business

by Dave

Asparagus goes
Well with eggs; No one needs to
Hear about my pee.

by Sam

Yum asparagus
But it makes my pee smell bad.
Overall, it's good.

May 21, 2020
Drumsticks The Chicken
by Sam

Editor's note: Sam created Drumsticks the Chicken about two years ago. He has decided to include a weekly Drumsticks comic for your reading pleasure. (Over the past month, Sam has read every Garfield cartoon strip ever created. Jim Davis has produced six Garfield comics a week since 1981 so that's a lot of comics!!!)

Royal Outing To Procure Leavening Agent
by Natasha

Today the queen, the prince, and the princess, endured much hardship to procure the scarce resource known as yeast. The royal family has been enjoying an abundance of buns, challah, and fresh pizza crusts, which has depleted the store of yeast in the royal kitchens.
The family decided to leave the royal carriage parked and used their two-wheeled conveyances, powered by the energy provided by the consumption of all the yeasty goodness coming from the kitchen. Both the prince and the princess were getting used to new bikes so the outing was fraught with danger, punctuated by shrieks and much laughter.
The round trip of almost 7 kilometres (4.5 miles) was a success as the royal storehouse was restocked with yeast and all returned to the palace safely. All can now rest assured that the production of leavened products by the royal kitchens will continue.

Pitching is Fun
by Rachel

Today Sam helped me build up my pitching skills. He showed me how to throw a two-seam and four-seam fastball. He also showed me how to pitch a circle changeup and a regular changeup. He said these were the 4 basics throws for pitchers who are just starting out.
He also showed me the three basic steps for a pitching motion: Up, Feed the Beast, and Follow Through. If you have a ball and a baseball glove, “Up” is where you bring your arms from a “straight down” position to up above your head. “Feed the Beast” is where you bring the ball down, point your foot to where you want to throw the ball, put your ball hand towards the outfield, and your glove hand towards home plate. “Follow Through” is where you move your arm towards your front foot, let go of the ball, and then bend your front knee and let your arm go over your pointed foot.
Another thing I did to learn (I’m still learning), needed help from my brother and dad. My brother came up with this idea: he stood at second base, and then my dad was the catcher. I pitched the ball to my dad; he threw it to my brother, who then threw it back to me. This way, I could practice my pitching and my catching.

May 22, 2020
5 Easy Steps To Make Your Friend Happy During Quarantine. Have fun and be safe! 
by Rachel

In this article, you’re going to learn five easy ways to help a friend with yard work while they’re in quarantine.
1.    First, make sure they’re okay with it.
2.    Go to their house and ask them what needs to be done.
Get them to show you what to do and how you should do it, and where to put the stuff and everything.
3.    If they’re okay with it, get your kids to make a stained glass elephant (I showed you how to do this in a different article. Editor's note: You can read that here if you want.) If they can’t go outside, they might want something to look at to make them happy.
4.    While the kids are making the stained glass elephant, start doing the yard work. It’s better to bring too much equipment, rather than too little. (I’d also recommend bringing some water – you don’t want to get dehydrated!)
5.    Get your friend to check your work, to make sure that it’s what they want. Then go home and make a reward for your kids and for you. For us, we went home, rinsed off, and then Dad made Coke floats. For grownups, make sure you have some alcohol on hand.

BASEBALL SADNESS :(
by Sam

Today, Sam, Rachel, and Dave played baseball. They were going to play Rachel and Dave vs Sam. They started out the game, and Dave and Rachel scored 2 runs. Then Sam batted, and Rachel started complaining that she wasn't on Sam's team. She kept complaining until Natasha came out and decided to end the game. (Editor's note: The game was called on account of whining and shriekiness. I didn't think the neighbours needed to be subjected to that.) But then Sam got sad because he felt that Rachel could just play one game on Dave's team. So they will try again tomorrow.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop
by Natasha

In a non-surprising turn of events, the KCUT Head Gardener Natasha has admitted that she might "really like yard work." The KCUT gardeners spent the afternoon in the neighbouring realm of Snellvania, helping get their royal grounds ready for the season.
"There just wasn't enough to do on the KCUT royal grounds so we had to look for more to do," Natasha explained. "Snellvania provided a prime opportunity to continue with our yard work obsession."
The gardening team transplanted, weeded, and removed some rogue plantings. Avante garde street artist, RaSaNa, made an appearance and brightened up Snellvania's borders with a chalk elephant, their specialty.
"We had so much fun," Natasha exclaimed. "If any other realms would like a hand, we're more than willing to continue to feed our obsession!"

May 23, 2020
Foreign Trade Mission a Success
by Dave

KCUT International Trade Minister Dave embarked upon a pan-regional tour this past Saturday, visiting industrial centres in nearby realms and establishing lucrative trading relationships.
His journey started in Beechwood, far to the west, where he visited the headquarters of Consolidated Overland Supply and Trading Co. (Costco). While there, he exchanged the wheels on the royal chariot for a set more suited to the season, cancelled a previous trading agreement, and purchased essential supplies of salty snack foods. He then journeyed east to replenish the royal malted beverage supply, obtaining a mix of lagers and ales representative of the region.
His next stop was the royal kingdom of Hedricktonia, where he was provided with a floral arrangement and exchanged updates and greetings with the kingdom’s diplomats. Finally, he visited a nearby trading outpost to obtain a carpet of greeting for the castle’s main entrance.
At long last, Dave returned to KCUT, and declared the trading mission a success.

The new carpet of greeting.

May 24, 2020
Resident Struck by Mysterious Illness
by Dave

Local resident Dave was struck by a mysterious illness this past weekend, likely brought on by excessive exertion in the mid-afternoon heat. Dave complained of a headache, nausea, and exhaustion, and declared that he wouldn’t be able to help with cooking and chores.
Fortunately, upon receiving news of the illness, the KCUT medical team immediately swooped into action. Chief Medical Officer Natasha prescribed a course of rest and liquids, and Nurse Practitioner Rachel assisted by clearing a space on the couch, fetching a blanket, and providing a cold glass of water and a damp washcloth. Dave proceeded to rest for much of the remainder of the day, under the watchful eye of Rachel (and, to a lesser extent, the rest of the KCUT medical team).
By that evening, Dave declared himself “mostly better”, and was up to doing the dishes and playing a brief game of catch with Sports Therapist Sam. Natasha continued to express some concern and, in hindsight, suggested that Dave’s decision to head outside that afternoon to clear up sticks in the backyard was “pretty dumb, from a purely medical standpoint.”
The next morning, after a good night’s sleep and a strong cup of coffee, Dave’s symptoms had entirely cleared up, and the KCUT medical team declared him fit to return to regular activities... as long as those activities didn’t include any unnecessary mid-day yard work.